Dreams

I have boring dreams. Some people have dreams where Tina Turner has three pairs of tits on her face and is riding a giant clock like a horse; I once had a dream in which I was late for work, but only by about ten minutes.
Even my sexual dreams are boring, I sometimes have dreams in which I am masturbating over internet pornography. For me, dreams should be something you don't do on a regular (daily) basis. In a dream I should have five cocks, or be having unprotected anal sex with a prostitute in a foreign country, or, at the very least, having a full subscription to an internet porn site, rather than getting my mouse greasy every time I have to swap between the free, one minute long, previews.
In the few cases I have dreamt about actual sex, i.e. sex involving another person, the dream normally finishes with me not being able to sufficiently aim my penis enough to penetrate anything. Now, this either points to me equating sexual desire with never ending frustration, or means that I am so repressed that I can't even bring myself to have sex in a dream.
When I was younger and having wet dreams, I often dreamt I was doing a really long wheelie on a bike. I've never been able to do a wheelie in real life, so in way I suppose this is better than the masturbation dreams.
All this reminds me of an idea I heard about when I was a teenager, 'danger wanking'. An activity that involves calling your Mum and asking her to come upstairs, then trying to finish masturbating before she walks in to your bedroom. I just kept thinking about the implications of coming, just as your Mum's face peeks round the door. That sort of powerful moment is enough to link those two things together in your mind, permanently. I can't imagine a worse existence than the one in which every time you experience the powerful surge of sexual release, your Mother's face fully engulfs your conciousness.